Simply Complicated

Sometimes things just don't come out the way you intend. This post isn't quite G rated; by the time you're done reading you'll know exactly what makes me blush and what Mike St. James has to do with bisexual swingers. So read on if you dare!

Our story starts with the innocent subject of sand volleyball. MSJ and I enjoy playing around, we're both athletic, and lo and behold! we discovered that there's this great bar with about a dozen volleyball courts, not to mention music, horseshoes, a tiki bar (I love tiki bars!)--the place is like a playground for adults. Long story short, MSJ started contacting some of the cast of Raven Rock to see if they'd like to form a team.

But since we also like to play together, Mike thought he'd ask Greg Frucci if he'd like to play 2-on-2 with us. The trouble was that we didn't know if Frucci was married or single. This is an exact copy of the message MSJ sent to his co-star.

[Subject:] Personal Question

Are you married, or do you have a girl Frucci? Just wondering if we could
play a foursome with my wife and yours.You don't have to answer this if you
don't want to bro.

Now, what would you think if you got that email? Probably exactly what Frucci thought... that Mike was propositioning him for something a little more complicated than volleyball. Thus begins my humiliation. Do you see how I'm implicated in the whole mess? I can just see their faces at the next cast party. "I didn't know she was that kind of girl." I can only hope that this has upped my magnetism factor. Surely I'll be at worst an oddity and at best, can I hope for femme fatale? A siren temptress?

But here's where the story gets really funny. Frucci is the sort of actor everyone looks up to. MSJ really respects and admires him. So, MSJ gets a reply from Frucci that can only be explained as the kindest rejection I've ever heard. I won't post his response (do we really need to dig a deeper hole with this man?) but the gist of it was Hey, thanks, I'm flattered, but no thanks, man. To really drive home the absurdity of MSJ's original message, Frucci ends his message with, "whenever you wanna play some v-ball...hit me up." I've got to hand it to Frucci; he knows how to let a man down gently.

Of course MSJ wrote back with a quickness and explained what he had meant to say in the first place. But who would believe that? If you were Frucci, wouldn't you be thinking Yeah right, boy! You're just saying that because I turned you down! I know I would.

So now it seems that all of the confusion has been patched up and the only thing left hurting is my pride (I haven't blushed this much since high school). And when you hear the rumors about the St. James's and how we swing like that, you just nod and say, With enough tequila and volleyball, a man will do anything. I've found that wagging your eyebrows helps this go down smoothly.